na hota main to kia hota...

There is a famous verse by 18th century Urdu poet, Ghalib (1796-1869),

Na tha kuch, to khuda tha, na hota kuch to khuda hota
Daboya mujh ko honay nay na hota main to kia hota?

When there was nothing there was God, if there were nothing there would be God,
My being has sunk me, if I were not what would be.

This translation is rough and breaks up the tense..,,but you cant get the whole essence of a verse in one language translated into another...

The second line is constantly ringing in my head since this morning,, I dont know what triggered it, why did it pop up frm my archives deep in my grey matter... I cant get over it,,what beauty this is,,such depth in such simple words....

But what does it really mean ? if I were not , what would be !??? Dont get it wrong it doesnt mean everything is God....Thats too simple a thought. ,,it means something deeper,, I dont know what it is,,but it is making me drunk....

This is like a rainbow of ifs,, only every one of the 7 colors keeps breaking into 70 more....
na hota main to kia hota....

Why did "I" have to be,,, its ones sense of being that drives one away from everything that could be or can be....
na hota main to kia hota....

oh how I wish "I" was not...!!! then "I" would have no desires for "myself" I would have no needs for "myself" I would not live to be...... oh how I wish I was not.....
na hota main to kia hota...

How I wish I become not,,,,if I were not, none would matter...except what Is
na hota main to kia hota....

If I were not, I wont have drifted so far away....
na hota main to kia hota..

If I could like a whirling dervwish, whirl in negation and acceptance, and with every whirl trasnscend a circle of my self, till I am free of place,time and finally my being.
na hota main to kia hota...

Daboya mujh ko honay nay
na hota main to kia hota..
na hota main to kia hota..